1
00:00:01,424 --> 00:00:03,193
[instrumental music]

2
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:05,806
[telephone ringing]

3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,473
(Robert on answering machine)
'Hey, it's us.'

4
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:11,111
'And us ain't pickin' up,
so leave a message.'

5
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:14,214
(Jonelle on answering machine)
'Hey, T, today is the day.'

6
00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:16,583
'Happy birthday, girl.'

7
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,585
'Pick up. I know you're there.'

8
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:20,821
'You're probably snoopin' around
lookin' for your presents.'

9
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,590
'Aren't you?
Pick up the phone, girl.'

10
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,528
Hello.

11
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:30,430
No, no, I was not snooping.

12
00:00:30,463 --> 00:00:31,698
No, I snooped all day yesterday.

13
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,434
Today I'm just flat out lookin'.

14
00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:37,303
Well, no,
I haven't found anything.

15
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:40,541
Well, unless my present
is a moldy Fruit Roll‐Up

16
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,744
or a dust bunny that looks
like Frederick Douglass.

17
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,212
Oh, I hear Robert.
I gotta go. See you at school.

18
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,682
Ah, there you are.
I got somethin' for you.

19
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,483
‐ Oh, really?
‐ Yeah.

20
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,086
Two more shirts for your trip
to the dry cleaners.

21
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,724
Okay, but, honey, um

22
00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,260
isn't there something
you want to tell me?

23
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:02,796
Oh, my bad. I love you.

24
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,230
Huh.

25
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,368
‐ Ah, you thought I forgot!
‐ Oh!

26
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,469
‐ You thought I forgot!
‐ I did.

27
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,671
‐ You thought I forgot.
‐ I did.

28
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,639
‐ You thought I forgot!
‐ I did. I did!

29
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,807
Mwah! There.

30
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,447
♪ Often I wish that we ♪

31
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,817
♪ Could take the time to see ♪

32
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,152
♪ The need there is to be ♪

33
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,722
♪ A family yeah ♪

34
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,824
♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪

35
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,459
♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

36
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,361
♪ Time and seasons change ♪

37
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,864
♪ But we will still remain ♪

38
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:42,569
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

39
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:45,606
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

40
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,742
♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

41
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,682
[school bell ringing]

42
00:01:55,716 --> 00:02:01,154
♪ Happy birthday dear Tia ♪

43
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:05,526
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪♪

44
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,494
[cheering]

45
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,900
[cheering]

46
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,302
Oh, come on, y'all,
I don't look that good.

47
00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:20,574
Tia, I painted you
a birthday card.

48
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:24,344
Oh, thank you, Bobby.
That means so much to me.

49
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:26,446
Oh, that is so sweet.

50
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,782
Ooh, and so wet. Heh‐heh.

51
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,450
Hey, that's my card.

52
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:34,387
And what a very absorbent card
it is.

53
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:37,290
[chuckles]
Hey, thank you, everybody.
Thank you.

54
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,860
Tia, I'm this many.
How many are you?

55
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:43,396
Oh, uh, put up your other hand,
both feet and find a friend.

56
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:48,234
So what does Robert have planned
for your big night?

57
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,671
Oh, I don't know
'cause he hasn't said anything.

58
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,438
But, you know, I'm guessin'
it's somewhere real special

59
00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,741
because he had me
clean his good shirt.

60
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:55,876
You mean he hasn't told you yet?

61
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,578
No, and he didn't even

62
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,946
wish me a happy birthday.

63
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:02,816
Hey, he couldn't have forgotten,
right?

64
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,686
‐ No..
‐ No, girl.

65
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,220
Hell, yeah.

66
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,224
You see these three rings?

67
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:13,894
Each one's from a birthday
that man forgot.

68
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:15,596
Well, what's the fourth one for?

69
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,798
I forgot.

70
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:18,832
Come on, Bobby, let's go.

71
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,702
Wait, I didn't get any cake yet.

72
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,571
Well, maybe not in your mouth.

73
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,673
[chuckles]

74
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:28,975
Tia, don't worry, I'm sure

75
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,612
Robert has
some big surprise planned.

76
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:34,014
[cell phone ringing]
Oh.

77
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,649
‐ It's Robert.
‐ See?

78
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:36,917
‐ Oh, pick it up! Pick it up!
‐ You heard her!

79
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,520
‐ It is red.
‐ It's red everywhere.

80
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,454
‐ Girl!
‐ Hey, kids, kids, please, shh.

81
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,656
Oh, girl, they're all caked‐up.

82
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,791
‐ That ain't happenin'.
‐ You're right.

83
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,360
Hello. Hey.

84
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,631
Uh‐huh. Mm‐hmm. Right.

85
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,767
He wants me to come down
to the office for my flu shot.

86
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,604
[chuckles]
Yeah, baby, I'd love
to come down for my flu shot.

87
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,406
Yeah, uh‐huh.
Okay, love you, too. Bye.

88
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,742
Hey, are you going
over there now?

89
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,844
‐ 'Cause I wanna get one, too.
‐ Uh!

90
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,612
Lily, girl, there's no flu shot.

91
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,013
No, that's just some code speak.

92
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,415
You know, like, flew,
like, in a airplane.

93
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,918
‐ Somewhere like that, yeah.
‐ Ooh, girl!

94
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,020
What if he's taking you
to Hawaii?

95
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,822
‐ Oh!
‐ Oh, my goodness. Okay, okay.

96
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,691
Well, whatever it is,
I gotta act surprised.

97
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,793
‐ Oh, well, let's practice.
‐ Okay.

98
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,294
‐ Surprise!
‐ Oh!

99
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,865
‐ Go work on it in the car.
‐ Yeah.

100
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,567
[mumbles]

101
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,768
Bye, you guys.
I'll call you later.

102
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,670
‐ 'Bye.'
‐ Have fun.

103
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:32,639
[upbeat music]

104
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:38,311
Okay, uh, listen, um

105
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:39,479
there are only three things
in this world

106
00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:40,647
that I'm deathly afraid of.

107
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,416
Um, mustard

108
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,718
wraparound sunglasses

109
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,888
and, uh, yeah, needles.

110
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:50,390
So can you just give me
a three count, okay?

111
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,792
‐ Okay, one..
‐ Yeah.

112
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,928
Uh, sweet potato pie!

113
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,864
‐ Somebody bring pie?
‐ No.

114
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:01,001
Damn, man.
Now I'm in a mood for pie.

115
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,669
‐ What up, brother?
‐ What's up, Dirk?

116
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,070
You. Big story breakin'.

117
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,339
The stunt‐man union
is picketing a premiere tonight.

118
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,373
They expect it to get ugly.

119
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,809
Well, it's about to get uglier

120
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,877
'cause I'll be there.

121
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,378
That sounds dangerous.

122
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,681
You better send
your stunt double.

123
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,383
[scoffs]
Turtle, for the last time

124
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,585
you are not my stunt double.

125
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,522
Then explain why I can do this.

126
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,961
Um, you're a freak?

127
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:31,932
I‐I'm here!

128
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,099
[chuckles]

129
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,102
Oh. Hey, baby.

130
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,138
What's up, baby?
You look beautiful today.

131
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,574
‐ Well, it's a special day.
‐ Mm.

132
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,143
‐ Oh, come with me.
‐ Oh, okay.

133
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:46,680
‐ Sit in this chair right here.
‐ Alright.

134
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:49,082
‐ Should I close my eyes?
‐ I would.

135
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:50,817
Ooh.

136
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,554
Oh, it starts with
a little massage first, huh?

137
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,422
Ow! That's my teaching arm.

138
00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:59,593
Um, baby, you're taking this
a little too far, aren't you?

139
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,027
Hey, brah, you gotta roll

140
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,495
if you're gonna make it
to the thing by 7:00.

141
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,597
‐ Oh, that's right.
‐ The thing?

142
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,465
The thing? What thing?

143
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,801
[chuckles]
I shouldn't be hearing this,
right? Right.

144
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:10,804
♪ La‐la‐la‐la‐la
la‐la‐la‐la‐la.. ♪

145
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:11,838
You're next.

146
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:12,973
♪ La‐la‐la‐la‐la ♪

147
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,175
♪ La‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la la‐la‐la ♪♪♪

148
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,744
Hell, no.

149
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,746
♪ La‐la‐la‐la
la‐la‐la‐la‐la‐la.. ♪♪♪

150
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:22,716
[upbeat music]

151
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,486
Hey, baby, I'm about to be out.

152
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:30,524
Oh, okay, okay,
but what do you think?

153
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,426
‐ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
‐ Mm, mm, mm.

154
00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,762
‐ Ah‐ah!
‐ Mm..

155
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:39,465
‐ Damn, baby, where you going?
‐ Oh, I don't know. You tell me.

156
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,434
[chuckles]
Uh..

157
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,669
A sexy funeral?

158
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,706
[laughing]
You are so silly.

159
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,008
Honey, I'mma go finish my makeup
and I'll be right back down.

160
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,576
Okay.

161
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,713
‐ Yeah, but I really got to go.
‐ Whatever.

162
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,748
[doorbell ringing]

163
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,018
[clears throat]

164
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,587
‐ Daddy!
‐ Hey‐hey, what's up, big fella?

165
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,056
‐ What you doing here?
‐ We bought this.

166
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,458
Oh. Oh, it's a little early
for Father's Day.

167
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,227
But, uh, I'll take it.

168
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,162
Daddy, what are you doin'?
That's for Tia.

169
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,031
It's her birthday.

170
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,702
♪ One two three ♪♪♪

171
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,173
[humming]

172
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:24,044
I am ready..

173
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,813
Hey, baby, look, look,
w‐what we got you.

174
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,755
You thought I forgot.

175
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,690
You thought I forgot, right?

176
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,058
You thought I forgot.

177
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,598
[upbeat music]

178
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:48,101
Oh, gee, thanks!

179
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:52,038
It looks like you both
put a lot of work into this.

180
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,575
He didn't do anything.

181
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:59,112
Who you think
bought the macaroni?

182
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,615
You ain't got no job.

183
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,850
Well, thanks, Bobby.
This is so special.

184
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,819
Will you wear it tonight?

185
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,721
Uh, well, I..

186
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:10,156
I should probably
get it insured first.

187
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,092
[chuckles]
Hey, honey,
shouldn't we get goin'?

188
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,794
‐ Oh, yeah, sure, yeah, yeah.
‐ Okay.

189
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:15,896
Yes.

190
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,133
Hey, uh, baby,
I'll be right out, okay?

191
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,502
Okay, hurry up.

192
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:23,804
So you remembered.

193
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,772
‐ Hell, no.
‐ I didn't think so.

194
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,608
I gotta cover
a stunt‐man strike.

195
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:28,875
Good because you're gonna need
somebody

196
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,276
to teach you
how to take a punch.

197
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,078
Ah. Come on, Neesee, listen.

198
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,614
‐ You're a caterer, right?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

199
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:34,915
‐ I need you to cater for me.
‐ Mnm‐mnm.

200
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,918
‐ Forget it.
‐ Please, Neesee?

201
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,252
I'm gonna be gone for two hours.

202
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,121
I need you to get Dirk
and whoever else can make

203
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,223
this place look like this
party's been planned all year.

204
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:44,691
I am not in the business

205
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:48,995
of saving my ex‐husband's ass.

206
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,565
‐ I'll triple your fee.
‐ My business just expanded.

207
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,234
[chuckles]
Cool. Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

208
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,302
Go. The food will be great.

209
00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,672
I'll take care of it.

210
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,840
Come on, baby,
looks like we're gonna

211
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,608
have to boil your necklace.

212
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,678
Oh, man!

213
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,648
[upbeat music]

214
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:14,154
Nine o'clock. Yeah, tonight.

215
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,255
Well, it won't be
a surprise party

216
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,289
if you knew about it in advance.

217
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,191
‐ Right?
‐ Mommy.

218
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,660
Hey, whoever that is,
tell them to bring

219
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,927
some fresh Italian parsley.

220
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,295
Bring some fresh
Italian parsley‐‐

221
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:23,730
The flat‐leaf kind,
not the curly kind.

222
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,165
This is for cookin'
and not garnishing.

223
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,700
Don't let them
get it mixed up with cilantro

224
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,669
because it looks alike.

225
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,304
They hung up.

226
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,740
You lost them at garnish.

227
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,910
‐ Mommy?
‐ Yes, puddin'?

228
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:40,146
‐ I want apple juice.
‐ Just a second.

229
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:43,216
Hey, y'all, it was slim pickings
at the party store

230
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:46,653
but I got a birthday banner,
but it got dinosaurs on there.

231
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,888
Look, look, look, just change

232
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,890
the T‐rex to Tia
and you'll be fine.

233
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,725
Jonelle, you've got to make
this place look festive.

234
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,294
Well, Jonelle needs to make
a cocktail.

235
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,898
‐ Make that two.
‐ Make that three.

236
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:01,201
I still haven't gotten
my juice.

237
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,771
Dirk, juice box for Bobby
and one for you.

238
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,306
Now take him in the living room
and entertain him.

239
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,108
I'll take the apple juice,
you take the fruit punch.

240
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,844
‐ I hate fruit punch.
‐ Mind your elders, boy.

241
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,748
So you got
a box of gin and juice?

242
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,650
Girl, please.

243
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:19,753
Look, this is too much to ask
of a person in two hours.

244
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,054
Shoot, Robert forgot,
I didn't forget.

245
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,256
I got my best friend a present
months ago

246
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,158
and I already sang her
"Happy Birthday" and everything

247
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,760
earlier today,
and I'm really getting tired

248
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:27,894
of being ordered around here
like some‐‐

249
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,963
Well, ho‐ho‐ho‐ho!

250
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:33,734
Just save all that hot air
for the balloons.

251
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,669
Come on, chop‐chop, huff‐puff.

252
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,103
Less talk, more work.

253
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,906
Nees, it's hard to believe
you're divorced.

254
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:46,012
Hey, man, come on now.

255
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:49,683
Nice bumper sticker.
"What would Jesus do?"

256
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,352
He'd drive faster,
that's what he'd do.

257
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,887
Baby, come on, don't worry.

258
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,122
It's not like
they can start without us.

259
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,793
You're right, baby.

260
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,762
‐ So where are you taking me?
‐ Huh?

261
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,264
‐ Wait, now, don't tell me.
‐ Okay.

262
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,932
‐ No, tell me.
‐ Huh?

263
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,368
No. No, never mind,
never mind, don't tell..

264
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,736
Okay.

265
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,108
[upbeat music]

266
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:24,317
I got three hotels on Park Place
and you're in jail

267
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,921
and I'm not coming to visit.

268
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,990
Yeah, well,
now I'm out of jail.

269
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,892
‐ How?
‐ With this.

270
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,894
‐ That's Water Works.
‐ No, it's not.

271
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,029
It's Johnnie Cochran's
business card.

272
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:38,899
‐ Jonelle?
‐ Yeah?

273
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,001
Can you tell me
where Tia keeps her paprika?

274
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,004
Uh, at the grocery store?

275
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,407
Girl, you've tasted her food.
She don't season.

276
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,142
Mommy, do you want to hear
a joke?

277
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:50,811
Oh, mommy's busy, baby.

278
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,413
Please? Real quick?

279
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:55,749
‐ Okay, real quick.
‐ Okay.

280
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:58,852
A dog and a cat
were walking down the street.

281
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,921
Wait, it wasn't a dog.
It was a‐‐

282
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:04,758
Wait, when have you seen a dog
and a cat hangin' out together?

283
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:07,227
Dirk, would you let the boy
finish his joke?

284
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:10,296
Okay, so anyway, a dog
and a squirrel and a bear

285
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,932
go in a tree house.

286
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:15,168
No, I mean, a cave.
Or was it the North Pole?

287
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,137
[laughs]

288
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,940
The North Pole. That's great.

289
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,474
[laughs]

290
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,143
Doesn't make any sense.

291
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,111
It's funny. Think about it.

292
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,381
Do I smell somethin' burnin'?

293
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,216
‐ Yeah, the back of my neck.
‐ Oh!

294
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,952
‐ Oh!
‐ Oh, no.

295
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,490
Wow!

296
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,359
Look at all those people.

297
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,962
Y‐yeah, there sure
is a lot of people.

298
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,230
I wonder
what all those signs say.

299
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,500
Is it, "Happy birthday, Tia?"

300
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:48,535
That would be great,
wouldn't it?

301
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:49,903
[chuckles]

302
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,306
"Die, non‐union scabs?"

303
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,109
Oh, damn.

304
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,211
That was supposed to be
on the cake.

305
00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:01,181
[cell phone ringing]

306
00:13:01,848 --> 00:13:02,849
Huh?

307
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,519
[smoke alarm beeping]

308
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,989
Robert, I'm gonna
try to stay positive.

309
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,424
The glass is half full.

310
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:14,427
That's because I threw the other
half on the fire in the kitchen.

311
00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:20,133
Okay, these are
no longer chicken nor tender.

312
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,937
That's what it was!

313
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,306
A chicken and a cat.

314
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,175
So a chicken and a cat

315
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,178
are in the tree house.

316
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,380
Man, here's ten dollars.
Go buy yourself a punchline.

317
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,253
‐ So everything's cool?
‐ 'No. Everything's burned.'

318
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,523
(Neesee on phone)
'This party's not happening.'

319
00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:43,857
[glass shattering]

320
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:46,860
'Bobby, stop it.'

321
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:49,596
'That's how
grandma lost her hand!'

322
00:13:49,630 --> 00:13:51,865
[indistinct chanting]

323
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:54,334
Um, okay. Okay, then.

324
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,102
Alright, I'll see you.

325
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:57,403
Alright, bye, grandma.

326
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,006
[indistinct chanting]

327
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,643
Robert, why are we at
a labor strike on my birthday?

328
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,144
Huh?

329
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,079
Um, well, baby, you know

330
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,581
with you being a teacher and all

331
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:10,183
I figured you'd wanna support
your union brothers.

332
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,887
Okay, look.

333
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,356
Baby, I screwed up,
and I don't mean

334
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,092
accidentally‐took‐your‐keys‐
to‐work‐with‐me screwed up.

335
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:23,296
I mean, I‐accidentally‐forgot‐
your‐birthday screwed up.

336
00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:26,299
Wow. That bad, huh?

337
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,334
Well, okay, I'm ready.
Just tell me.

338
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,437
No, that's it.
I forgot your birthday.

339
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,675
You forgot my birthday?
No, 'cause back at home‐‐

340
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:38,612
Look, baby, I just want to be
honest with you, okay?

341
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:41,414
Bobby made the noodle necklace
by himself.

342
00:14:42,683 --> 00:14:44,585
And if Neesee hadn't reminded me

343
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,386
I had no idea
it was your birthday.

344
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,489
Well, I hope Neesee remembers
our anniversary, too.

345
00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:52,325
Look, baby, I promise,
I'll make it up to you.

346
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:55,261
I'm gonna buy you the best
birthday present you ever seen.

347
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,263
Hm. Let me guess. A ring?

348
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,167
Come on, baby,
I don't wanna ruin the surprise.

349
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,703
Honey, the only surprise

350
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:05,471
is that you think
I care about presents.

351
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:07,107
When I was growing up,
we didn't even

352
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,943
give each other presents.
We just wrote poems.

353
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,015
"Roses are red

354
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,217
violets are blue."

355
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,220
I'm sorry
I forgot your birthday..

356
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,055
...boo.

357
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,624
Let's just go home.

358
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:26,492
Okay, but I got a, uh

359
00:15:26,527 --> 00:15:30,396
little, tiny..

360
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,333
...itsy‐bitsy interview.

361
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,571
‐ I'm sorry, what did you say?
‐ Interview.

362
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,139
Did I hear you say, "Interview?"

363
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,575
‐ Huh?
‐ You have to work?

364
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:45,345
You know what, Robert,
you do whatever you have to do.

365
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,113
Well, it's my birthday,
you messing it up..

366
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,550
[engine starts]

367
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,384
‐ You know I love you, right?
‐ Oh!

368
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,620
[all gasping]

369
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:54,755
I'm okay!

370
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,724
[cheering]

371
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:06,266
Baby, thanks for being so
patient about this whole mess.

372
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,635
Let's not mix our verbs, okay?

373
00:16:08,669 --> 00:16:11,137
I wasn't patient, I was trapped.

374
00:16:12,606 --> 00:16:15,008
Well, actually, baby,
one of those is a adverb‐‐

375
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,510
It's my birthday!

376
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,412
And I say they are both verbs!

377
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:20,981
Alright?

378
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,251
(all)
Surprise!

379
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,487
Oh‐oh‐oh! Ah..

380
00:16:27,521 --> 00:16:30,423
Happy birthday, girl.

381
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:32,325
And by the way,
you're both wrong.

382
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,094
One's an adjective.

383
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:37,664
You look more surprised
than Tia.

384
00:16:37,698 --> 00:16:41,134
‐ What the hell happened?
‐ I pulled off a miracle.

385
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,104
Oh, baby,
I knew you didn't forget.

386
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,405
No, baby, I forgot.

387
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,609
Oh...you, between the flu shot

388
00:16:48,642 --> 00:16:50,176
and you hitting that person
with your car

389
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,478
you really had me going.

390
00:16:52,513 --> 00:16:56,316
So they did have flue shots.
Ah, great.

391
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,119
‐ Baby, no, really, I forgot.
‐ Come on.

392
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,621
Will you guys tell her I forgot?

393
00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:02,723
‐ Oh, he forgot.
‐ Yeah, he forgot.

394
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:06,192
Okay, nice try, nice try.

395
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,661
So where's the cake?

396
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,330
Ta‐da!

397
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:14,167
I present to you
cherries flambe.

398
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,670
And for those of you
that don't speak Neesee

399
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,272
it's cherries on fire.

400
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:26,112
[chuckles]
Cherries on fire.

401
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,416
Ain't that something,
the whole damn kitchen on fire

402
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,418
except for the one thing
that's supposed to be.

403
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,522
Step aside.

404
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,625
Mm‐hmm.

405
00:17:38,659 --> 00:17:40,193
[chuckles]

406
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,265
Ah‐ha..

407
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:47,267
Happy birthday, Tia.

408
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,536
[chuckles]
It‐it's beautiful.

409
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,673
[chuckles]

410
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:57,143
‐ Thank you.
‐ You're welcome.

411
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,679
It is beautiful.

412
00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:01,447
Now, there's only one person
that I know

413
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,849
that'd rather have
cherries flambe

414
00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:05,218
on their birthday
instead of cake.

415
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,621
And who would that be?

416
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,123
Sorry I never remembered.

417
00:18:10,156 --> 00:18:11,858
Happy birthday, Neesee.

418
00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:15,161
Thanks,
but tell that to your fiancee.

419
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:18,464
‐ It's her birthday, not mine.
‐ You're right.

420
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,567
‐ I'll holler at you in June.
‐ September.

421
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,336
August. Split the difference.

422
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,839
Well, this is so great.

423
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,641
[indistinct chatter]

424
00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,911
‐ Thank you so much.
‐ Just take it.

425
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,479
You know, you gotta let it get
pssh. You know what I mean?

426
00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,148
[chuckling]

427
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,756
[instrumental music]

428
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,491
Oh, baby,
I got you a little something.

429
00:18:45,526 --> 00:18:46,927
Oh, really, honey,
after this party

430
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,261
you don't have
to get me anything.

431
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,863
Yeah, I know, but I did.

432
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:50,897
What you got?

433
00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:53,166
A little jewelry from Italy.

434
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:55,936
[gasping]
Pasta earrings.

435
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,338
‐ Oh, they're beautiful.
‐ Yeah.

436
00:18:58,371 --> 00:18:59,840
They're kind of hot
with some marinara on 'em.

437
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,609
Oh, okay. I'll remember that.
I'll remember that.

438
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:05,345
‐ Thank you, baby.
‐ Happy birthday, baby.

439
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:09,783
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

440
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,418
Yeah, get them off.
Get them off.

441
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,787
‐ Alright.
‐ You got your feet done, right?

442
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,156
‐ 'Cause I don't want you cut‐‐
‐ You know what..

443
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,793
[Tia chuckling]

444
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,796
[footsteps approaching]

445
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,599
Mm, mm. Mm, mm, mm, mm.

446
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,968
Who knew

447
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,504
that cherry flambe

448
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,372
had liquor in it?

449
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,242
Whoo!

450
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:39,245
Where'd everybody go?
Let's party!

451
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:41,515
Oh.

452
00:19:42,583 --> 00:19:44,184
What y'all doin'?

453
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:50,323
Was y'all kissing, romance?
I'm just.. Go.

454
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:51,457
Kiss her, Robert. Her birthday.

455
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:52,859
Kiss her. Kiss her.

456
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:57,598
[theme music]